Monica-Pursued

I grew up in a very traditional conservative home. As a family we were very involved in the church. I knew so much about my religion but nothing about actually having a relationship with Jesus. Because of this, everything about my walk with God was very outward, like praying only when I needed something and going to church out of obligation. Nothing I did came from an inward love for God because I knew nothing about Him, so I didn’t know how to love Him.

High school was a difficult time because I wanted to be accepted by everyone. I put so much value in how I presented myself, and emphasis on success and being the best. I used popularity and success as a way to feel loved and accepted. My family, though, saw all of me so when I went home I would be so mean and I held so much hate towards my family. I was the first to move away for college which was a big deal. I moved because I didn’t want to be near my family or my hometown since I held so much hurt and bitterness towards my parents and siblings by the time my senior year of high school was over, because I felt like they were controlling my life.

During my first semester of college I was walking on campus and a girl named who would become my small group leader approached me and asked if I was interested in joining her small group. I said yes because I grew up in the church and thought this was something I was supposed to do. I started going with the mindset of “I knew everything”, but in reality, I knew nothing.

Every week I would learn something new about Jesus and the bible and how we are supposed to live our lives as Christians. God really humbled me; I started to my read bible for the first time, the Lord was showing me new things through small group and my small group leader and revealing Himself to me. Once I started living up to what I had been taught, I had a vision and Jesus told me to get baptized. He showed me that in Him I was made new again, and that I could rest in His love and approval and I didn’t need to seek man’s approval. I was shown that Jesus loved me and gave Himself for me, not my successful, accomplished, perfect image. His love ultimately showed me how to love and serve other people, especially my family. Jesus has completely transformed me and my thoughts. He showed me how we are supposed to live in communion with Him and that as Christians we are supposed to look different from the world.

I’m so grateful that God constantly pursued me and that He wants to have a relationship with me, and not just me but everyone. Deciding to live my life for Jesus is the best decision I could have ever made.