Drew-Convicted

“How many of you would honestly say that your identity is in Christ? When people see you, do they first see Jesus?” Jesus was using this speaker to speak deep conviction into my heart as I was sitting there in a Thursday night Chi Alpha service. That night, I chose to surrender every bit of selfishness in my heart. I had made Jesus Savior of my life before, but I had not yet made him Lord of everything. When I did, I received what I had been diligently searching for, for months: the baptism of the Holy Spirit. After repenting, I couldn’t contain myself as I worshipped Jesus and my tongue began to speak another language. I felt like someone had lit a fire in my chest. My first desire was to immediately run out and tell everyone about Jesus. At any point, I could have stopped, but I pressed in and worshipped Him like I never had before.

            Before that I had grown up in church my entire life in Mississippi. I went to a Christian school, my parents loved each other, and I even competed in memorizing Bible verses at church. Yet, I had chosen to harden my heart against God. I was bullied a lot in middle and high school. So, I turned that bitterness into depression and eventually anger. It was hard to find genuine friends and so I chose to isolate myself from others. Even when I did make friends, I never let anyone know whom I truly was.

Then, one of my dreams came true: my dad got a job to move my family away from Mississippi and to start over somewhere new. I was excited to start my senior year of high school in a brand-new city. However, the move only made matters worse and my family went through a really hard time. I came to college just wanting true brotherhood and joy. God graciously answered my prayer and gave me my small group leader my first day of college. When going to his small group, he was incredibly instrumental in patiently teaching me to fear God and keep His commandments. I never knew what true repentance was and the joy that it brings. I realized that I could not say that I loved Jesus yet continue to live a secret life of sin. Since then, I have had the sweetest friendships in this community that seeks to serve one another and lift Jesus up on this campus. I have learned so many lessons and grown deeper in my walk, yet I continue to grow even more every day.