Don't Be Bitter

Don’t Be Bitter by Sebastian Flores

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

Ephesians 4:31-32

 Friends, when we live in unforgiveness, it hinders the power of God in our lives. It truly does keep us from having a real relationship with Him and real relationships with those around us. 

The Bitterness cycle  begins when we are hurt and become bitter towards the person who hurt us (typically someone we interact with often). We feel betrayed, rejected, insulted, ignored, or differed from in some way and  we don’t forgive them. In fact, sometimes we won’t even tell them they hurt us. Instead, we hold a grudge in our hearts. We then rebel, refuse to forgive and turn our own way. We deceive ourselves thinking that we know best and are in the right.  We become double-minded - pretending to love, but deep down not confessing the still-burning bitterness. We deceive others with an unfulfilled joy, and become empty. Then we are reminded whom we were hurt by, and the cycle repeats itself and we now begin to hurt others. It’s ugly. 

I used to dwell in bitterness. I didn’t even know I was dwelling in it. I believed that I had forgiven everyone, and not for the purpose of being closer to God, but because I just didn’t like being “on bad terms” with anyone. When I learned about the Bitterness Cycle from my small group leader, I had a lot of questions. Through contemplation over the next few months, I began to improve my walk with Christ. I opened many doors in my heart to submit to God. It was not until much later that I finally realized that I had not forgiven everyone. 

When I was about five years old, I watched my father get arrested and taken away in a cop car. He spent a couple of years in prison, and when he got out, he didn’t come back to us. My dad went and started a new family with a woman I didn’t know. He didn’t come back to support my mom and left us poor. She was a single mother with no help. I saw my dad again for the first time my freshman year in high school and learned that I had other brothers and sisters, and the onslaught of forgiveness began.  I wanted nothing from him, so I shut out that entire side of my family. For years, it remained that way and then I forgot about it. Forgetfulness is not forgiveness.

Last year, my grandmother (father’s side) added me on Facebook. She sent me messages all the time, and I ignored them at first. One night at Chi Alpha, the speaker reminded us of the Bitterness Cycle. They spoke of all the potential relationships that we lose out on when we don’t forgive one another, and I felt convicted. I have siblings, aunts, uncles, and grandparents that I could love, and the only thing hindering this possibility was not choosing to forgive my dad. So, I did. For the sake of moving toward God, and for the potential to love my brothers and sisters, I laid down all my bitterness that night and asked the Lord to take it away. Then I went home and messaged my grandma. I told her I loved her and asked her for my dad’s number. He messaged me a week later, and now we exchange texts.

The point is when you sit in bitterness, it leads to nothing good. There’s a reason God tied forgiveness so close to love. So, we must confess these things that make us bitter, ask for forgiveness,repent, and love one another. Lastly, if we abide in a mind in love with God,  true forgiveness will be second nature to you!

CONVICTION

Unforgiveness leads to a cycle of bitterness. Hurt - Bitterness - Rebellion -Deception - Hurt

PRACTICAL CHALLENGE

Don’t wait any longer! Think of anyone who you may be holding bitterness towards and withholding forgiveness. If you have unforgiveness in your heart towards someone it’s time to confess it to God, make it right with others and release it to Him.