Collin-Free

Since I can remember I have always loved and played sports. I played almost every type of sport you could think of and found my identity in them. I played soccer throughout my time in middle school and played football up through my high school years. Many people don’t know this about me but I came to UTSA to play football and kick for the team, but there was one moment that changed my life forever.

 I can almost always remember being left out or over looked, when it came to any type of sport, bible study in church, or anything that had to do with being invited or allowed to play; I was never good enough. Although I grew up with parents who loved God, loved me very much, always provided everything for me and cared so much for me, I took out most of my resentment for others on them and deceived myself into thinking that they didn’t care for me. My time in middle school was rough because I was awkward and weird, and would always wonder why I was left out. I remember going to our church for teens on Wednesday nights and meeting my bible study but I never felt I belonged or was welcomed. I always remembered seeing or hearing about them hanging out after it had happened. This carried on throughout high school where I remember committing to focus on kicking and training to go to college to kick and become a professional kicker in the NFL. I remember always trying to fit in and always striving to make everyone feel proud of me, and never feeling like I was enough unless I did well in football. It became my everything and my idol, not Jesus. Eventually, my sophomore year of high school, I remember getting letters from Oklahoma and Auburn, and thinking to myself that I was the greatest, and boasting about it to others so they would look at me more highly. I remember the feeling and sort of high that I would get from others complimenting me about how good I was and how my true identity was in kicking and not in Christ. Even when I went to church many would talk to me about it and in my arrogance I would boast. Even though I thought I had everything, inside, I knew I had nothing. Until one night, during my junior year of high school, I remember going to service and God meeting me right where I was. I remember feeling so convicted for my sin and my pride, I repented and started reading the bible every day and praying for my friends, and God started to break the deception that I had on others and on my parents, He started to loosen up the bondage of depression on my life and free me from the captivity that I was in. It was like I was being brought in to the light and could see for the first time. I was the blind man, and God had opened my eyes to see!

Finally, my senior year of high school came around. I wanted to play division one football and I chose to come to UTSA. “God if you don’t want me to play football, please speak to me.” These were the words that I prayed, and He spoke to me. Slowly but surely I remember hating football and starting to realize that I really didn’t want to play. I remember just giving it up because I was so captivated by Christ, and wanted to do it for His glory and not my own. I still decided to come to UTSA anyways, not knowing what was going to happen but wanting a fresh start on my life. I ended up joining Chi Alpha, went to a bible study, and spent time with my friend Craig- it felt like I was wanted. I got to experience the fellowship that I had only dreamed of and heard of having all that time in my years of high school and middle school. If there is anything that I will always remember from Jesus and what He has taught me so far, it is that He is Faithful. He will always give you what you need. My life in Christ is so refreshing and new. I am a new man in Christ and my identity is in Him. Jesus has led me out of the deception that many are in today and He can free you!