Anika-Found

 I grew up going to a Catholic Church, so I knew about God but I never had a personal relationship with Him- going to church was just a routine for me. I also came from a home where dad was not in the picture, so you can imagine what it was like growing up without a father. It was extremely difficult for me and I grew to have a void in my heart and as the years went on I tried to suppress the hurt, which caused the void in my heart to get bigger. I then tried to fill this void with boys, partying, and praise from people.

I was constantly pursuing things that I thought were going to satisfy me and fill that void. In high school I was always in different relationships, trying to find fulfillment in being with someone. I also strove to make really good grades and to be the best at sports because I simply wanted praise from people. Along with those things, I was consistently attending parties because I was settling for temporary satisfaction. Four years of high school flew by and I was ending my senior year in a relationship and with a scholarship to run at UTSA which were the two things that I eventually found my identity in. But as time went on I realized that as I was pursuing these things for years, I still felt empty. Through trying to find satisfaction everywhere, I honestly found it no-where.

When I moved to UTSA, I was at a really low point; I knew that nothing I had been doing was truly satisfying me. Then, there was this one night where I was alone in my apartment and I simply just humbled myself, got on my knees, and allowed myself to be broken before God. As I was on my knees I told the Lord, "Lord, I’m broken. You see me and if You’re with me, make it known." It was a simple prayer and the Lord was faithful to answer that prayer the first week of school when I met my small group leader. After meeting my small group leader, I started going to small group, and then got my hands on a bible for the first time. I soon began to read the word of God and that is when everything changed.

As I began to read the bible, I truly got to know God, and had a deep desire to be close to Him. When I began getting closer to God, I was able to see the sin in my life for what it really was and once I saw the worth that is found in Christ I let go of everything that was separating me from Him. My intimacy with the Lord grew from there and I was able to wholeheartedly believe and receive all that His word said. I was once broken, lost, and seeking satisfaction in things of this world, but I am now redeemed, found, transformed, and walking in the fullness of Christ. Time and time again the Lord has revealed to me that He is the only one who will ever be able to fill this void and completely satisfy my heart. Here I am, 3 years later, still seeking, still finding, and still falling deeper in love with Jesus. Psalm 40 is written in my heart because it reminds me of how He truly did draw me up from the pit of destruction and how He set my feet on a solid rock, making my steps secure. I share all this with a heart full gratitude and hope. Grateful for what He has done and continues to do in my life and hopeful for what He WILL do in yours.